Despite my best efforts.

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There is this old desk at the foot of our bed. In the first week I moved it there upon getting my new desk my intent was to put fresh flowers or some of my creations on it. Make it a nice asymmetrically pleasing center to finish off our room. But despite my best efforts, the items that have no real place to rest find themselves here, collecting dust, next to the mismatched socks, old journals and random toys my kids leave in our room. Despite my best efforts.

Despite my best efforts, for years I felt like I was in the middle of this great idea. Watching all the beauty zoom around me, in perfect order, asymmetrically pleasing, only to have mismatched socks and dusty journals in my hands, tripping over the forgotten and unwanted. Despite my best efforts to clean that space up and make it into something special, I always ran back into those socks and books. The problem wasn’t the dust. The problem was me and my best efforts.

In an event to clear my life of what I thought was pointless drivel; the chapters that could be skipped; I was missing everything. I had read the book a thousand times and never heard the words.

My best efforts got me in some of the worst situations. My best efforts helped me accomplish my list of things I never wanted to do to my family. My best efforts silenced my Lord from my life putting me back in the drivers seat. And despite my best efforts, Jesus found me anyway.

1 John 4:9-10(MSG)
This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.

It may be possible that the most beautiful aspect of the grace of God is it’s unconditional and endless ability to cover my best efforts.

That old desk doesn’t look so bad anymore.

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One thought on “Despite my best efforts.

  1. I love this! Love the idea of His grace covering up my best efforts because on my own, my best is not nearly good enough. It is only when I seek Him and move in His power that my best becomes our best and it is enough. Blessings to you.

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