The journey continues.

Sometimes the cost of not listening as a kid was a dirty look and no TV for the night. But at times in the journey I realize that God isn’t in the business of dealing out consequences when I’m not paying attention. My inability to slow down and align myself with the Creator of the universe is consequence enough. Opportunities get overlooked, I fall short, or there is not enough of me to go around.

A few years ago I started believing something toxic. I believed doing all things through Christ meant I could literally do anything in Jesus name. In the last few months defeating this thought has become a thing I don’t want to do.

Because of an imperfect world I still have to realize that at times there may be something in front of me that I am not able, or not supposed to do. Likewise, there may be something in front of me I am supposed to do, and don’t want to finish. When I allow God to come into these moments and face these situations with honesty, God has already begun filling the gaps. The impossible is already becoming possible, and I am already doing something “in Christ”…even if the largest part of the moment is God changing my heart a little bit more.

I came to believe that being a Christ follower, having a relationship with Him, or letting His way of living control how I was going to live meant having a sword and boldly proclaiming that I loved Jesus. I think I was terribly wrong.

Love and grace play such a larger role in this way of life then I ever expected. I find myself relating to Paul, a person who I originally thought was a complete wimp. There is something much larger at play in facing the true image of ourselves, and choosing to pick up grace and love each day of a God-man who died for people who could care less. There is something real about knowing I am a person who could care less, and love anyway believing one act of love changed everything for everyone.

It’s not about throwing scripture and “Christian” terms all over people. It’s about living life in such a way that they are taken back 2,014 some odd years and see the face of forgiveness without me uttering a word about my beliefs.

I thought the biggest consequence of not “evangelizing” someone was a deep agonizing guilt that I had let God down. It turns out, there is a much bigger feeling of loss when I don’t love someone when I am having a rough day myself. That I have chipped away at their view of Jesus, and robbed them of the truth about His amazing grace.

If I’m being honest with myself, The world isn’t what’s getting in the way of others seeing Jesus. I am what is getting in the way. And the only way to remove myself from obstructing other’s view of Jesus is to quickly reconcile back to the way He lived, even when it hurts. Jesus doesn’t need me to carry the Bible like a sword, slaying other’s views, beliefs, and lifestyles. He wants me to live like He said so His love can change the deepest part of their souls.

Turns out the biggest thing in my life isn’t what bill came in, what job is on the line, or if my kids behaved for the day. It’s if I lived grace.


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