I remember as a kid always waiting for the next big moment. I was always the youngest, always the slowest, weakest… loudest. Somehow getting in the practice of having to be bigger, faster, and stronger gets exhausting.
All my siblings were 11+ years older than me. By the time I was old enough to start really remembering life’s best moments it was largely quiet, empty, and lonely. I spent a lot of man hours wondering what my older brothers and sister were up to in their big important lives being grown ups.
I’m 26 now (yeah yeah yeah, I’m YOUNG. Shhh.) but I have 2 kids, I’ve been married 8 years, and I have student loans and my oldest’s school work to keep up with. Since I was 18 I’ve been submerged in a world where I needed to start making responsible decisions. I held my first child 6 days before I was 19 and realized that beautiful little egg roll needed someone to protect him.
I’m 26 now. I’ve been adulting for 8 years. (Yes, adulting will be a word one day. Adulting–(n) the act of being an adult. A constant state of enacting adult life)
Admidst elementary homework, 3 years of poverty, 1 associates degree in psychology and multiple attempts at an internship to finish a bachelor’s degree, potty training, bill paying, job loss, job gain, job loss again, car problems, car loans, marriage good times, marriage bad times, health struggles, kids growing up and exploring, and growing some more… I sat down to dinner with my sister-in-law (as we do multiple times a week) and we looked at each other, sighed and said: When do I get to stop adulting?
We never really stop looking for the next big moment as kids. We just become bigger, older, children. With bigger, older, challenges. And the bigger and older I get, the more I realize how ass backwards we have it as adults (yes, I said ass).
When my 4-year-old daughter goes to the bathroom the basic conversation, however exhausting as it may be goes as follows:
K: I’m going to the bathroom!!
Me:Don’t forget to wipe.
Me:And wash your hands.
We have had this conversation 100+ times. Do you think my daughter wipes, and washes–with soap–every single time? Nope. It’s not because she doesn’t KNOW, it’s because she wants a quicker, easier solution. She wants the choice that gets her out of there quickly, without urgency to go potty anymore, and the filth? Doesn’t really bother her…too much.
Um, hello? Do we have to be 4 to understand this logic? Isn’t this daily life most times? We walk around until the discomfort, or stink of ourself is too much to bear and then we choose to make a change.
Jesus didn’t pound the truth in, scorn, or punish those around him. He confronted the situation with truth, and that was that.
You’re in sin? Don’t do it anymore.
You came to be healed? Take up your mat and walk.
You’ve followed all my commands? Sell everything you own and give it to the homeless people around you.
One step further. But always really the truth we knew was there all along.
Something happens when we intentionally do the little things we know we should be doing. If we wait for the big moments we will eventually want to quit “adulting” (insert hand raise here). If we intentionally wait for the worst moments to choose love and service of another stinking human being(pun intended), we just might realize we’re really walking for the first time after a lifetime of being crippled.